Buttons

I went shopping yesterday and bought a jumper. It was in Edinburgh Woollen Mill, a shop that has sales almost as often as DFS, and I'd seen the jumper (grey, lambswool and angora) and liked it but not been willing to pay full price for it. Here it was at last reduced, £5 off.

There was quite big pile of them, but only one Large (and I do like my jumpers loose, can't bear to think of people seeing my rolls of back fat). And anyway, sizes don't come up very big there. Just one Large and it had the button missing (there is a keyhole feature at the neck). So I had a quick look and yes, as usual there was a spare button sewn on the label inside.

I took it to the counter, where the very bored sales assistant was lounging, and I asked whether they might have another jumper in the storeroom, as this one had a button missing.

"Naaah".

Might I have a look to see if there was a spare button? I started to unfold it on the counter but she stopped me.

"Naaah izzunt one". So, she doesn't know anything about the stock and she hadn't noticed me looking at it already.

"Cunn givyer discount". Excellent, I thought, and asked what she would offer.

20% off. (I'd have settled for 10%).

It didn't take me long to work out what the price would be, so I said yes.

"Gotter work it out on till".

It took ages. I'm not speedy at mental maths but it took her twice as long on the till as it took me in my head.

I paid her and left. I came home and looked in the button box and found a very nice little ivory (not real ivory, ivory-coloured) elephant, sewed it on and it looks much nicer than the original button would have done.

(Yes, yes, I know people don't have button boxes any more.)

I wouldn't normally try to swindle discount off, certainly not off a small and honest retailer who knew his trade. I don't have much sympathy for the big stores and certainly not for ones who employ staff who neither know nor care about their stock or customers. Husband said they must write off the losses made from lost sales or discouraged customers in the same way they write off losses from shop-lifting, and I suppose he's right. It's depressing though.